A Fresh Start
Hello, my friends!
I hope you’ve been well. I’ve missed you while I’ve been away, but I felt I needed to take a step back and reassess a whole lot of things.
My relationship with instagram, my goals and aspirations, my relationship with myself...I’ve been feeling so disillusioned with all of it for quite some time now, and I had to take some time and ask myself what I really want, and why.
To be honest, I still don’t have a lot of answers, but I was moved to give my website a makeover and start once again to try and breathe new life into this venture of mine anyway.
While I was taking my break from Insta, I received so many lovely messages from people who told me how much my art means to them, and how much they enjoy it. It helped to open my eyes and remind me of the reasons I started, what made me want to keep creating- even as I questioned whether or not it was something I was going to come back to.
On good days, my heart still wants to make things. I’m still moved by music, by sunlight dancing through the trees, by the possibility of magic and wonder being just around any corner…and I think that’s what I need to focus on.
It’s always so strange to come out of a fog and realize exactly how different things are in reality than they seem in your head when you’re scared and alone. To come to the sudden realization that the terrible monster outside your window was just a twisted branch all along, no matter how real the fear that kept you awake through the night was.
When we’re in the throes of depression, it’s near impossible to recognize how blessed we truly are. When we feel trapped and overwhelmed, everything seems so hopelessly insurmountable and daunting. Once the storm is over and the clouds break, we can see the world around us for what it truly is, and we feel safe again.
But knowing the storm will pass doesn’t make those harrowing moments when the tempest shakes us to our core any easier to weather. It certainly feels like it should, but when the dark clouds gather and the wind starts to blow, there is no reasoning left within us.
